Bachelor Tips From
Barry Onmione
Let's admit it. We
hate doing laundry. Unless we are blessed with an apartment with built-in
cleaning appliances, or if mom comes by and relieves you of the burden,
you are going to have to enter the foreboding dungeon that is the laundry
room.
However, I may be
able to alleviate some of your washing woes by suggesting a few tips to
help cut back on your loads.
First, as I have mentioned
in previous articles, Fabreze® is your friend. This miracle spray
can add days of freshness to your clothing. And you need not even remove
the clothes you are wearing now--simply spray and go.
Now while this magical
combination of cleaning chemicals would seem the end-all, there are limits
to its freshening powers. But there are other sound methods, proven in
battle, that can keep you from wasting your evening folding clothes. This
will be helpful when you want to watch that Red Dwarf marathon.
Of course the obvious
answer lies in the clothes you buy and wear. Denim, and other cotton should
be your only choices. If you run low on these materials, buy more. One
suggestion is to sign up with any credit card company that offers you
a free t-shirt. Vendor-ware (clothing with a company's advertising on
it) can be a godsend.
Also, I mentioned
in a previous article that you can take your shirt off while you eat to
prevent spilling tomato sauce on yourself. Well, further to that, you
could just hang around your apartment in your underwear, or if you expect
guests, a bathrobe. Bathrobes can go months without a good washing. Nobody
expects you to entertain in a clean robe anyway.
Deodorant is another
good tip. Nothing drowns out body odor better than a fresh coat of Right-Guard™.
Even if you do perspire, it's a fresh sporty-scent, instead of your own
uncomplimentary odors. I would avoid perfumes and colognes, as they may
mingle with your own scents, providing a rather potent, yet not altogether
welcome aroma. The kings of Europe tried this several centuries ago, and
it didn't work for them.
Are some of your clothes
starting to wear out? Turning over your sport socks so that the worn parts
are on top may add life to them, but they're still going to stink. Just
throw them out and start fresh. Your parents will always send socks when
you ask, and they won't ever keep track. Delivering garbage bags of clothes
to your parents will work in a pinch, but it requires effort, and you
will likely have to listen to your grandmother talk about the days when
they washed clothes in a barrel. This is all precious time that you could
better spend playing on a friend's new X-Box.
Eventually, you will
have to wash your laundry, after exhausting every other option--airing,
rotating (taking the least offensive smelling clothes and wearing them),
etc. But I hope sincerely that I have given you a few more options.
It's tough
being on your own, and even tougher following the rules the world has
set for us. Stay single!
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